it was like his penis was on wheels.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
