when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
