ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
They took my balls.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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