Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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