How'd it feel making her break her religion?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
