this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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