Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
PANTIES FOUND
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
