Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
