They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
