everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
