break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize