I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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