Its about making memories worth repressing
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize