Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
