so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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