she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
