i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
