My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Small penises have feelings too.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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