is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
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