She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize