i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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