People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
