He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
