my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
