so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize