A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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