I'm drive I can fine osifer
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
