this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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