god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
