Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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