The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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