Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
