Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
