She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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