i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
