So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
