I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
