It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
