I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
