so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I am one with the molecules
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
