i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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