She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Floor bacon is actually really good
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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