So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
