Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
