Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
