So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
