I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
