Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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