fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize