I must be too annoying 4 u.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
