I think I just saw someone hide a body.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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