these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize