i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
