awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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