return my video game
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just want to make out with him forever
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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