there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
