so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
