Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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