Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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